It's go time!

     So, tomorrow is my big surgery. Today I had to go have an injection in my right breast of some radioactive liquid to map out my sentinel node(s). I had heard it was quite painful and asked the radiologist. He gave me a very 'medical' explanation about injecting right near the nipple which has a lot of nerve endings. So, yes it will be painful. I have to admit, it was not bad. A couple of deep breathes and it was done. Then you wait around for 20 mins and go get some x-ray like pictures taken. Done. Time for ice cream!  Yes, Hubby and I ate ice cream for dinner.
     Prior to this fun of 4 injections in my nipple, I had to do one of the most difficult things I have ever done....hand peanut over to my mom.  My mother lives almost 2.5 hours from me, so we met in the middle for some quick lunch (I didn't feel much like eating) and load up Z's 2+ suitcases! She was fine until I strapped her into her car seat and she started to get upset. "Why do you have to go? Why can't you come with me? Why did you get breast cancer?"  Wow! That was tough, but smiles, hugs and nose blowing got her through it. I got a text a little while later that she was very busy playing with her cousins.
     I am ready and waiting to get this done and move on. I will see you all on the other side!
xo

Sadness. or is it sinus pressure?

     So, I am feeling sad today. I don't know why, but I do. Is it that I am closing in on surgery? Is it that my baby girl is finishing preschool? Is it that I had such a good time with my husband and daughter last night having a photo shoot by a dear friend, that today is a let down?  Is it that I miss my parents and feel bad because their 'baby' is having to deal with cancer? Is it that my friend Bonnie is such an amazing person that she calls me every couple of days to check in and I have yet to do anything meaningful for her?  Maybe it's just this terrible sinus pressure I get when I sleep with my windows open. Yes, it's definitely the sinus pressure.

To be continued...

     So, I have been meaning to blog....really, I have. But somehow life just keeps getting in the way. In 19 days I am having surgery and want to get about 5 million things done prior to that. I've never been one to sit and relax, so why would preparing for cancer surgery be any different?  For some reason, cleaning all of my windows inside and out needs to be done before I have surgery. Why? I don't know.      
     Every day I run around start to finish trying to get a few things done in between dentist appointments, preschool pick up and drop off, grocery shopping, dinner prep, evening clean up of the house, bedtime routine for a 4 year old.  That last one is a doozy! Peanut not getting into bed until 9 leaves momma no time for herself, and it's wearing on me. I am trying to enjoy the moments of non-stress, like visiting the sheep and cows down the road, lunch with friends today, watering the plants for 10 minutes-alone! Like most moms, I get so busy taking care of the others around me that I forget to take care of myself. Next week I will make it to the beach, even if just for an hour, to sit alone and do nothing.......maybe!